CRUMBS

Good for a pigeon
Good for a crow
Good for baking
Hurts when I know
A hint of what’s under the ebb and the flow

Crumbs are not morsels
They’re less than a tease
They’re torment and tiny
And never can please

They give you a taste
Maybe a feel
Of something that’s hazy
May even be real

They’re not for the hungry
They’re not for the soul
They’re not for anyone
Who wants to be whole

They tell you what isn’t
They tell you the lie
That crumbs are enough
It’s pie in the sky

Today I’m groping
I’m slipping and sloping
I’m living, I’m breathing
I haven’t stopped hoping

That crumbs turn to bites
And bites to whole pieces
I’m feeling like strife
Has many releases

It’s in the crumbs
That I now believe
Has given me pause
And reasons to grieve

The Crumbs are just bits
And not really it
It’s me that keeps taking
And looking for fit

A little piece here
And I am content
As I am the one who truly has spent
So much of my time
Looking outside
And never knowing I didn’t have to hide
I should never have lied

When I was a kid
Whatever I did
My father was watching
Though always he hid
Behind the bottle

The tonic he’d choose
Be it Brandy or booze
Was never a win and i always would lose

My spirit, my hope, my youth and my joy.
To this day are no memories of just being a boy

Instead I got fists and screams
So much so it entered my dreams
To be me was to be tough
I laughed when they said my life was rough
I was never enough

I loved him and feared
That he would be near
When he was taken
by whiskey and beer

My family was mine
To protect and in time
I became the father
And never paid mind
To losing my child
Within and without
Not looking back
Not having doubt
That I did the best thing
That needed to be done
I let go of games and childhood fun
To make sure we were safe
Though no more than a waif
I was man and brother and husband and slave

I have no regrets
I did all I could
The only thing different
I think I would
Learn more about self
Why I accept crumbs
Not feeling or seeing
How I was so numb

What happened to Steve?
Doesn’t he rate?
His needs are quite meager
Nothing so great
Just friendship and fun and love
Never hate
I guess it’s time now
It’s never too late
To figure it out
With friends who know
That crumbs are just seeds
Waiting to grow

I