OLD DOGS

I was walking with my Best Friend the other day.
Over the years she and I mostly walked and talked.
I would say we mostly talk.
That’s why she’s my Best Friend.

In the beginning and for a long time her dog was top dog.
Some might say alpha.
In the beginning, my dog ate a lot of crow.
That’s just the way it was.

Her dog let all other dogs, I mean every dog know he was boss.
He’s older now. Some might say he’s old.

And my Best Friend is sad about that.

The old swagger now has a slight shuffle.
He doesn’t seem to hear well, but we think maybe he’s selectively listening now.
He’s got lumps and bumps and has lost some meat on his bones and you now can see some bones.

My Best Friend worries.

My dog is young and foolish.
He tries to be an alpha and seldom if ever succeeds.

As I walk and talk with my Best Friend and her dog
I hear the voices and see the memory and feel the pain and all the other emotions as if I am peering into a looking glass at my past at all the old dogs that I walked and talked with over my life.

They weren’t always old.

Funny how God works sometimes.
In the beginning, I thought cruelly.

Taking my closest companion so soon.
7, 10, 15 years. That’s all you’re going to get. That’s it.

When I was younger I couldn’t figure out why she would do it that way.
I needed them.
I needed them to be with me forever.

I mean it seems like so many other things she has orchestrated in life make sense.
Like sex is fun.
That’s so we make more babies.
At least this was the case before we had too many babies and people.
Don’t know what she’s going to come up with now.
Made sense at the time.
And other things too.

But then as I got older I saw her wisdom

More dogs for me to love in my lifetime.
Now I get it. Good job.

Ginny, Wolf, Action, Boogie, Rapunzel, Aquarius, Cody, Honey, Ira, Vikki, Heather, Liza, Grommitt, Libbey and now Dodger.
That’s a lot of life and love.

Most of them became old dogs.

Something about old dogs.

They have a wisdom that’s not so profound as it is peaceful and omniscient. Maybe that is profound.

They let you know when they’re not happy with something, now that they paid their dues.

They’re not so much lazy as they are making conscious choices as to how to expend their energies.

You’d think considering the circumstances, an old dog would be grieving the loss of the vitality of youth, but instead, the old dog has dignity and an intentional sense of humor about it all that belies the reality of aging, hence dying.

It’s like peering into a looking glass into my future.
Definitely with many more dogs to share life with but also maybe I’ve learned something about my life. My choices and how to be.
Seems like old dogs just know. And I have to wade through it.

Certainly, at least for me, it’s better to be loving, dignified, light of heart, aware of this present moment, honest, accepting, noble, vulnerable and at peace.
Like an old dog.

But when you’re in the place my Best Friend is in, watching her old dog, not so graceful anymore. It’s hard. It’s a different kind of grace now.

On the other hand, one might say a dog or it seems maybe any animal, other than humans in a sense are simpler; some might say lower in intelligence.
Well, there’s intelligence and there’s intelligence.
Doesn’t seem like old dogs think about the future or for that matter the past.
We do.
I wonder if this is more a curse than a blessing.

While an old dog is just being himself-older,
We are flooded with sadness, fear, worry, sorrow.
Understandably.

Doesn’t seem like the old dog attaches much more to their presence than this moment.
It seems.

Life is what it is.
Dogs are dogs
People are people
My Best Friend will be alright
She has loved and lived
Just like her dog.